I received these in an email from my friend. They are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming,
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you’re not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other,
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,…