Good morning. Here is something to start your Monday with a smile on your face, and hopefully make your week more entertaining as you share the following jokes with friends and coworkers.

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
1.A Because they are plugged into a genius.

2. WHY DON’T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
2.A They don’t have enough time.

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
3.A They don’t stop to ask directions.

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
4.A Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock.

You’re laughing, aren’t you?!?!

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
5.A So they won’t hump…

Here is some Friday questions and answers humor about men.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

- “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife.

- “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,” he replies.

- “Put them back, we can’t afford them,” demands the wife.

They carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

- “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.

- “It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.

Her husband…

Google has many uses, one of which being a spellchecker. But when a word has different spellings, whit different meanings, it is time to start experimenting with searching for the word in sentences.

This morning I was looking for the correct spelling of the plural of “son”. I was not sure if it was “sons” or “sones”. The first describes male offspring, the second apparently is: a unit measuring the loudness of sound as subjectively perceived, equal to a tone of 1 kilohertz at 40 decibels above the threshold where sounds become audible to the listener. Thank you Encarta. One of the…

The following quote is from my desktop Dads calendar, given to me by my wife:

A Dad Moment

Ricky held his one-year-old daughter Emily in his lap. She was jabbering in baby talk as she flipped the pages of a picture book. Nearby, Ricky’s five-year-old son Tim said, “Dad, make her read it in English instead of Spanish.”.

I extremely enjoy listening to my son talking in his own language. It is fun, entertaining and animated – full of facial expressions and gestures. Moments like these are priceless, which only parents can appreciate for their true value and not just their comical relief.

…

A lady walks into Tiffany’s. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she lets out a fart.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qu alities one would expect of a professional salesman in a store like Tiffany’s, and greets the lady…