Alexandar Tzanov ~ The Titan

The following quote is from my desktop Dads calendar, given to me by my wife:

A Dad Moment

Ricky held his one-year-old daughter Emily in his lap. She was jabbering in baby talk as she flipped the pages of a picture book. Nearby, Ricky’s five-year-old son Tim said, “Dad, make her read it in English instead of Spanish.”.

I extremely enjoy listening to my son talking in his own language. It is fun, entertaining and animated – full of facial expressions and gestures. Moments like these are priceless, which only parents can appreciate for their true value and not just their comical relief.

A lady walks into Tiffany’s jewelry store. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she lets out a fart.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional salesman in a store like Tiffany’s, and greets the lady with: “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”

Feeling uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks: “Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?”

He answers: “Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to shit when I tell you the price!”

In America police cruisers, also known as police interceptors, are designed to ram other vehicles, especially when pursuing an offender. One of the techniques used, if the policeman can get close enough, is to clip the offender’s vehicle in the rear, either on the left or right side of the car. This causes the vehicle to spin and in most cases results in the engine seizing, which in turn gives cops just enough time to surround the offender.

It appears , though, that in Russia bullets are cheaper, even when the chase is moving at less than 10 miles per hour.

It appears to me that after the long! chase, the offender had finally given up as a result of losing control over the vehicle due to nearly dieing from laughter. Unfortunately a quick beat down was administered by the police!

Thank you EnglishRussia.